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Under Construction

Updated: Jul 1, 2022

Folks, if you don't know what the hell is going on with this energy, I am right there with you! I have been inside, outside, and upside down. Am I coming or going? Am I creating or destroying? Am I building anew or taking it all down? I have taken a deep, deep step back to evaluate. I have done these Soul Messages for 4.5 years without missing a beat. Am I doing it out of habit at this point? Does something new want to come through me? I am putty in Spirits hands right now and it is UNCOMFORTABLE.

This morning I had a realization that perhaps my not knowing where I'm going is actually procrastination disguised as not knowing. Perhaps the clearer truth is that I'm bursting with inspiration and desire to create, but I'm holding myself back in fear of the unknown, the new, will it be accepted, will it be "allowed?" — This is always a funny one. Allowed by who? One — does anyone actually care? Two — I work for myself, so who exactly do I need permission from? It's all old programming. Don't be too big, too small, too loud, too quiet, too, too, too. This is what we are deeply purging out now. Programming from all the lifetimes, all the trauma, all the memories that no longer serve us. We just can't take it with us.

I did some channel writing for myself yesterday and what came through very clearly was this line — "You get to determine WHAT. We determine HOW. It's not all on YOU. When you feel yourself stretching remember that. Re-Member. We are on your team. We are your other 'member.' You are not alone." So there it is. We are always co-creating, even when we think we are in the drivers seat. Are we really? Yes, and no. It's a comfort to know it's not all on us.

I've been making some changes behind the scenes, and what I realize now is that it's a little hairy to actually push the button on change. But like I've said to many entrepreneurs, in the words of Elizabeth Gilbert, "done is better than good." When I first published by website almost 5 years ago I did the exact same thing. I published and I changed it as I went. I've been working on a whole new one, and as it's coming along, I'm asking myself, is this the new me? Does this feel right? And I think my answer to that now is that we don't quite know until we put it out there. And then there's always room for tweaking.

So I didn't think a Soul Message would come through this month. I wasn't sure where I was going, and then I just heard sit in front of the camera and go. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's taking direction from Spirit. I may not know where it's going but when I hear the call, I jump. So this is it. We'll see how it plays out as time unfolds. Will I do one next month? Who knows. But I can tell you the flavor is evolving and I am being called to offer way more classes, teachings, mentoring, entrepreneurial support, etc. I'm still working on getting my chakra rollerballs into stores, and even that I have been hesitating about. Can I handle the business? Can I add that to what I'm doing? Do I have the capacity? But what I know right now is that Spirit doesn't give us anything we can't handle, so if it becomes too much, I'll let something go. Wow, it's uncomfortable to allow change. And that's all we're really every doing, allowing change, allowing LOVE.

So I offer this mantra from a book I'm re-reading, thanks to a new friend that had no idea of my connection with it being THE book my energy healing apprenticeship in 2014 was based on I Am The Word, by Paul Selig — a completely channeled text.

I am the Word through my body. Word I am Word.

I am the Word through my vibration. Word I am Word.

I am the Word through my knowing I am the Word. Word I am Word.

This mantra (and maybe all mantra) is to help clear us of old programming that lives deep inside the body. The physical body vibrates slower and denser than any of the other bodies (spiritual, mental, emotional, heart). The pathways are woven deep in the body to protect us, but then it gets stuck when we don't process the emotion that comes up (and of course emotion is totally shamed in our culture, so you don't have to look to far to figure out why this stickiness happens). This mantra in particular is to remind us to shift into Christ Consciousness, to call and allow the vibration of Christ Consciousness (Spirit, Universe, Higher Self, whatever you want to call it) to live within us, and to BE us.

If there is one thing that is absolutely clear to me at this moment, it's that the change we seek lives in our willingness to do exactly the OPPOSITE of what we would normally do. That's the thing the catalyzes change. That's the thing that moves the needle forward. That's the thing that shifts our bodies automation programming into something new.

Are you ready to move the needle? You might just have to get so sick of where you are, that change is the only option left.

I love you. I see you. You're not alone. I risk change with you. I encourage you to grab it all.

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