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Surrendering to the Unknown



Well this one is very interesting. We're going to have to unpack this together. When I asked about the energy of May, I was shown a black box, quiet, almost deafeningly quiet,

s p a c e, wide open, expansive, limitless on the inside, on the outside it feels stiff, tough, rigid, painful even. The energy outside the box harsh, too bright, too intense, too exposed, almost as if it is pushing us, or calling us inward, into that box for relief from the external environment. At the very same time, inside the box feels dark and unknown, but also beyond limitation, as in beyond our wildest dreams. The liminal space where all things are possible. It also has an energy of horse blinders. As if the quiet dark helps to keep us from the distractions of the bright chaos outside. So although I would typically think of being in a box as limiting, and the goal of our emotional and evolutionary journey to be removing us OUT OF THE BOX, in this case, the box feels like a gentle invitation into the expanse of ourselves and our inner world. A teaching about how much power we actually possess, and the stories we "see" with our eyes are not the true stories.


I did a mini Spirit Reading (a type of channeled writing that I do for clients you can find under Services) for Mercury Retrograde because the energy has been so intense. Mercury is in retrograde from April 21-May 14, but Mercury has a two-week integration phase after it goes direct, so that means we're in it all month. Mercury typically has a three-week cycle, and at the midpoint (about half way through), is when you'll usually become aware of your "mercury retrograde message." This message is what Mercury is desiring you learn at this time. It's usually a bit rough coming up to the midpoint, and once you have it, it may not be what you want to hear, but there is still a coasting feeling after you've got it. The sting of seeing it is with you, but now you know. That midpoint is roughly May 5, also a full moon in Scorpio. Scorpio is the scorpion, the stinger, so expect this one to be a bit stingy, but also, like a needle, it excises the wound quickly. So the solution may be simpler than you think it is right now. It's a huge time for patience, waiting, and not making decisions while you're in it. Mercury is the ruler of communication, travel, technology, so I'm sure you've already been feeling the computer crashes and the tech glitches, the flight changes, etc. But it is also said not to make decisions around this time because everything is jumbled and clear thinking is not present. Think of being in a meditative or shamanic state, you don't want to change your life in the middle of it, you want to get the data, and integrate it afterwards, slowly and gently, with intension and reverence for the teaching.


So with all of that said, it feels like this "black box" of May is a huge P A U S E. Collect the data, let the paint on the walls melt, let everything you've built crumble, let everything you think you know be wrong. Stay open to the vastness of the unknown because there is a lot more coming for you that you just can't see now. And right as I wrote that, I heard this song. https://open.spotify.com/track/2okQKQxmOYEn3peoBe8WIR?si=7cb834045a9346a0

Go listen, and crank it up. This is our theme song right now. ❤️


This tells me we are in for an intense internal battle, of the best kind! We are fine-tuning our intuitive instruments. And Spirit is asking, "are you going to choose yourself, or are you going to choose to fit in?" People pleasing, dropping the beautiful parts of yourself to fit in, choosing the masses, it will NEVER fill you. This is the path of the broken heart, EVERY TIME.


Because ONLY YOU know what you need.

ONLY YOU can tend to the wounded inner child that didn't get what they needed.


As I'm writing this, my husband comes upstairs to share this passage from a book he's listening to that I haven't yet read but got for Christmas because I knew I needed to read it.

From the War of Art, by Steven Pressfield, "Rule of thumb, the more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more resistance we will feel towards pursuing it." So this is the same message from a different angle. This internal battle I'm speaking of is this resistance we experience towards our own evolution. And this is an inside job. We are the only ones that can take it up, and we will be sad pursuing anything else until we work with the resistance towards just doing the damn thing. Pursuing it whole-heartedly!


So it's an internal month in many ways, but also, within the box is the expanse of infinity and eternity, the gift of the quantum field and the unknown. And through that expanse, we bring the light in towards ourselves. It's not about shutting out the light and going into the dark for purposes of blocking out light, it's that what's outside the box (aka outside of ourselves) is getting more and more uncomfortable to push us inward so we can find this tantric, beautiful connection with self and Spirit. And from that place, anything is possible.


We are made possible through ourselves,

not from anything else outside of us.


It doesn't mean we can't receive support from others, but the real work is ours.


Suggestions this month —


Chanting — I am deeply back in chanting practice as I work on releasing more and more chants on insight timer. I am working on a learn-to-chant course to help get you set up in your own practice. Stay tuned for that, but chanting practice is a deep internal dialog that allows you to visibly see where you are stuck, and gently move it out of your system for something gentler.


Yoga Nidra — Now that I have discovered this practice, I see it as a manifestation meditation. It gets us in touch with the quantum field so we are energetically upgrading our thoughts, our feelings, our awareness. It is a radical act of anomaly (resting so deeply) in a world that would call us to be endlessly busy.


All the frequency tools — This came up last month as well, but it's still here. The need for deep frequency tuning. This can be accomplished in so many ways: tuning forks, sound healing, essential oils, where we place our energy and attention, journaling practice, meditation, getting proper exercise, diet and drinking water. It's not for me to tell you which one is best for you, you have to hear the call, and answer it for yourself.


Oil of the Month — LEMONGRASS is the oil of cleansing. From Essential Emotions, "Lemongrass is a powerful cleanser of energy. It dispels feelings of despondency, despair, and lethargy. Lemongrass assists individuals in entering a healing mode or cleansing state. In this state, one easily lets go of old, limiting beliefs, toxic energies, and negativity. Lemongrass teaches individuals to move forward without hesitation. It asks them to commit to a healing path where change is a regular occurrence. Lemongrass can also be a powerful took in cleansing the energy within a house, room, or work space. It encourages individuals with hoarding tendencies to courageously let go of everything they no longer need."


If you need help with oils, or anything Young Living, you can book a free consult, or follow the Lemongrass link above.


Apothecary Oil of the Month — Mercury and Throat Chakra.




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