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Wild Expression



Welcome to December — typically a time of introspection, going into the cave of self discovery and self assessment. A time of purging, release, and letting go of the last year. So I was surprised to be met with this image of a peacock, a time of wild expression. A celebration and dance of what has been accomplished. A shedding of the layers we use for protection. Protection from others seeing our authentic self. Protection from us seeing our own knowing, and feeling that grounded safety and wisdom of the feminine, the heart. We deny our own knowing to fit in. We are communal creations. We want to belong. We want to be accepted. We want to be honored. And when we aren't, or when we fear not being, we shrivel and hide. We shut off our own knowing so we don't have to grow it up; so we don't have to risk being outcast, uncomfortable and in unfamiliar territory. But it turns out, being in unfamiliar territory is what helps us grow it up. It is what almost forces it. We don't necessarily lean towards growth. We may say we want it, but shudder when actually called to take action, to put our money where our mouth is.


December begins a new cycle of letting all that fear go. The fear isn't important anymore. The only value it has is showing you what is important to you, what you value, and where your edges are. It's natural to fear jumping off a cliff, but it doesn't mean the task is not for you. For three years I felt the call to leave my corporate job, but it was only because I was pushed, that I jumped. Often we have to jump off the cliff and figure out how to fly on the way down. If we assess too much beforehand we may never do it. And so we get pushed. So in this time of typical cave assessment, we are being called to share what we've learned, to connect, to express, and to celebrate how far we've come. From Freedom (the oil last month) comes Abundance (the oil of this month).


As we grab and claim our freedom, abundance comes.

We give ourselves permission to RECEIVE.


This is hard for most of us. We have learned to take scraps. To be grateful for the little we get, while dolling out loads of support to others. We have learned to live with, and in, imbalance. We're so use to it, we don't even notice it anymore. The pebble in our shoe we walk miles without removing. There's a permission energy here, but it's permission we give to ourselves. The true expression of freedom. No one can give us permission for this level of freedom. It's an inside job. A package only we can unwrap. And so there's courage energy here also. A warrior-like willingness. A commitment to letting ourselves grow. To grow up, and to grow out of our current containers. Peacocks don't hide their feathers, they spread them, share them even. They are attracting a mate. In this way, we are sending out our energy to attract our people. If we hide who we are, we pretend to be something we're not. And so we attract people, energy, experiences that don't align. And so this call for us to spread our feathers and delight in who we are isn't arrogant, it's a way of aligning our energy. We let go of people, energy, experiences that don't match, and call in those that do. What a beautiful gift.


But like the fool in the tarot, we have to be willing to risk;

to walk off the cliff with no idea how it's going to go.


There can be a dark night of the soul here, although I feel that energy lifting. We may continue to shed tears, but it isn't of the "I'm not good enough" variety, it's of the bitter sweet "I'm finally enough" variety. In fact, you were always enough, you were just afraid to be too much, too big, too emotional, too loud, too feminine, too masculine, too brave, too determined, too aware, too, too, too. But that energy is so tired. It doesn't allow us to be who we were meant to be here, and albeit slowly, we are learning to let that go. That old costume is dusty and tight. Let the peacock feathers spread and feel how good that feels to finally let them relax where they may.


Things to focus on this month —


Tell A Friend — Share with someone what good is happening in your life, or what is hard. Open the flow channel and letting your feelings be OK. Letting go of self judgement is the first step. Loving YOU and exactly where you are. "It's alright to cry, it might make you feel better." And it's so much easier done with support and in community.


Push Your Comfort Zone — Many of you have joined me in chanting for 40 days. I have no problem with routine, but exercise, that's another thing. As horrifying as it is, I have committed to 30 minutes of exercise for 31 days (the entire month of December), encouraged and inspired by Robin Arzon at Peloton. Follow #30for31 to watch me and others along this journey. Use the #doublemagenta and follow me personally and others that are joining me. Let's do this together so it's more fun and brings in that energy of community and collaboration. This is about committing to self growth, pushing past comfort zones, and yourself pride in what you're doing and accomplishing.


Be in Your Own Rhythm — This is a month of family, of expectations around how you show up. Perfect territory for claiming yourself and allowing yourself to be in your own rhythm. Notice when you want to people please. Notice when you go unconscious for the group, in order to belong. Practice your inner "no, thanks" without feeling bad about it. You are the one that lives in your body, in your life. Why build it around someone outside of you? This doesn't mean living alone and without community. It's actually the opposite. The more you are truly YOU, the more of YOU that can show up for others, when you're first showing up for yourself. In this way, you can give from a full well, not an empty one.


Oil of the MonthABUNDANCE. Yum, yum, yum. Close your eyes, breathe it in, allow yourself to envision your own abundance. What does it look like? Let yourself walk around in it. We have to give ourselves permission to have it before we can receive it.


This oil contains: orange, frankincense, patchouli, clove, ginger, myrrh, cinnamon bark and black spruce. Grounding (myrrh, black spruce, frankincense) and uplifting (orange, patchouli, ginger, cinnamon). It's an oil of being rooted in the body, grounded, honoring growth, building heat and being held by mother earth.

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