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Writer's pictureHeidi Hancock

Contain Yourself



As we enter October, we are walking into a new chapter of sorts. We've been working with the theme of the pot cooking: the bone marrow (programming) being cooked out of the bone (our authentic selves). The vision I was shown this month, is now the lid being placed on the pot. We have boiled, simmered and settled, and now it's time to see what we've reduced down to. What remains to be discovered in this unearthing of our original souls? What magic is there yet to discover about ourselves? This holds positivity in the vast and intricate discovery of ourselves, but there is one thing to place focus, caution and attention on as we move into this deeper level of investigation and reclamation.


Lying dormant at the base of our being is our beautiful, yet misunderstood, shadow self. In order to really reclaim our sovereignty at this stage in the game, we must meet our shadow, and love him/her/they back to life. That shadow part of ourselves exists because we shamed it into the corner, and it continues to get pushed further and further down every time we refuse to commune with it and find out what it needs. One of the biggest themes that shows up in individual sessions is meeting those shadow selves and loving them back to existence. When we are willing to commune with them, to find out what they need, what they have to tell us, it's often quite sweet and innocent. They usually need something they didn't get at a younger age, and finding out what that is can exponentially free us in radical ways. Once we befriend this part of ourselves, we can offer it what it needs, and give it the gift of occupying new space. Perhaps this sweet little soul would be better suited in a different role. Given honor and respect, we can offer it such an opportunity, and then it can stop tormenting us (which is only a vie for attention to get heard).


When we are growing up, we learn very early on what parts of us are "worthy" and what parts others would prefer us not have. And so we label and shame them, and they never get to inform us, we never get to learn what they had to say, or what they needed from us. So we walk around as half selves, operating with limited understanding of ourselves. We've built whole lives on this principle of only promoting the worthy parts, and sequestering the shameful parts, like splitting ourselves in half. So in order to do this reclamation work, we must do the digging to unearth and welcome these parts of us back to existence, and perhaps into different, more suitable roles. They have much to offer us, much to teach, and all of it is tender. These shadow parts rage and cause havoc because they want to be known, they want to be loved. So the first step is letting go of any assumption that they are dark or evil. They've just gotten loud because they've needed to. Think of them as young, abandoned children who need our help and it will be easier to attend to and parent them without the fear.


This is the deep opportunity being presented to us at this time, and the lid is providing a safe place to investigate. Within this container, it is just us. There is no one else in there that might be judging, making our wounded parts feel safer to come out and be known. It's like we're making the temperature and environment just right so there's no sense of worry that would push the phantom back in the closet. And the larger reason why we would even want to do this work may be obvious, but I'll explain it in energy healing terms. When parts of us are held captive in trauma, that portion of energy is used up and unavailable to us on a regular basis. So we are operating with and from limited resources. When we free the trauma, we free the energy, and so we have more of our own energy available again, for things we'd actually like to do and be. It's a gift that keeps on giving, once we've allowed those disowned parts to be seen and freed.


So although the idea of yet another container in the middle of quarantine season sounds oppressive and suffocating, I see this as a gift of retreat. Take time to yourself this month. Do the business of hibernating that this season beckons us towards anyway. It's perfectly aligned to pull the covers over your head and feel it all. Let yourself cry like the RIVER card earlier in the week suggested. Let yourself see who's crying and what for. See what's lurking under the covers in that dark container of YOU. I promise the fear of it is much worse than the real thing. And the freedom felt afterwards is immeasurable.


Suggestions for this month:


Self-care: This is always a good one, but this month is a great time to take the baths, sleep in, feel the feels, get some healing work done with an intuitive. This is not western medicine territory; this is deep in the subconscious, and stored in energy. You have to go into the mystery of it through alternative methods to get to the root of the unseen.


Root Vegetables: It's a great support in turning inward during the Fall to begin adding root vegetables to your diet. As foods that live and grow deep under the soil, they help inform us how to do this darkness thing, and how to be fed by the vitamins and minerals stored there. A great, easy meal I like to make is baked sweet potato (score with a fork, cover with oil, and sprinkle with salt before baking — usually at 400º for about an hour). Add buffalo mozzarella, torn basil leaves, squeeze of lemon juice and pinch of salt added after the potato is baked. Tastes like savory dessert!


Meditation: Again, this is an always and forever suggestion, but right now it's coming in hot! With all of this shifting, cooking off, investigation and shadow work, we need to keep our cool and keep our heads by quieting the mind and going inward. Meditation allows the inner dialogue to calm and the chatter to cease, so we can actually hear the wisdom and words of our guidance team nudging us along. If you're always talking, it makes it pretty hard to listen.


Be well this month in your own inner hibernation. You deserve it! And even though it can be dark, it is the best gift you can give yourself. 🌿







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