Well, folks, we're starting off June with a bang. Not exactly what I had hoped for, especially after the uplifting support energy that came through in May, tempting us to think we were finally at the reward stage. The eclipse on May 26 began a six-week phase of energy that includes eclipse season, AND a mercury retrograde, not to mention we are in the sixth house of health, wellness, daily routines, habits, occupation. So we have light being eclipsed and shown (reveal energy), Mercury retrograde (communication breakdown to breakthrough), and the daily habits so imbedded we think they ARE us (ego shadow work). All of this points towards purging, but more than that, the image I was given for June was a tornado and a house being taken down to the studs. The energy of this tornado is coming in to sweep away anything that isn't bolted down. In other words, anything that isn't congruent with our souls purpose and longing has got to go. We are being asked to look at the nitty gritty of who we THINK we are, and question it. What do we identify with so strongly that we actually think it IS us? This is so far deep into the bones that it is the thing(s) you don't even recognize as being an issue, the automatic responses, relationships, jobs, habits that we don't even question. It's like simultaneously being squeezed AND stretched. How that is possible, I don't even know, but it is here, and it is uncomfortable.
We are being brought to our knees INTENTIONALLY. The energy speaks of love, self love, love towards others, but ONLY through the filter of what is true FOR YOU. So we have boundary defining and redefining to do here. We've done this on a smaller scale, but this is including the whole god damn house now. The external house, the internal house, the guts, the digestive system, the heart, ANYTHING that isn't functioning properly is getting tossed — without your consent and without your permission. You know the saying "let go or be dragged?" Perfectly applies here. The destruction, or what may feel and look like that, is in pursuit of something better: the REAL you; the one you've been hiding even from yourself.
Even as I type this, I can feel the winds building. Look around at what is important to you — and it better be a small list because you won't be able to carry more than a few things. Mercury retrograde is typically a time of disintegration to reintegration, but this is on a larger scale, probably because of the eclipses rolling through at the same time. With Mercury also in its home sign of Gemini, it is very comfortable here, so it doesn't mind moving the furniture. The message I get is that we have gotten so far away from what is important to us on an individual level, so comfortable conforming, we have totally forgotten to stand on our own two feet, put the stake in the ground, claim who we are, and be independent in order to be interdependent. If you don't know who you are (reminds me of one of my favorite poems A Ritual to Read to Each Other by William Stafford), then you can't express that to others, and you can't request what you need because you don't even know who you are.
Remember I said months back that there was reveal energy building, BUT that reveal energy ended up revealing to us that it was coming from each individual soul finding THEIR truth — NOT some large truth outside of us that would tell us where to go. We have to claim where we are going, one soul at a time, and that is totally opposite from agreeing to a larger mass of energy outside of us. So the question is: are you going to stand up for what is important to YOU, or are you going to go with the masses to avoid the discomfort of standing out? Every time you agree to conform, that group of conformers gets larger, and that has gotten so large it has turned into a tornado that is coming to rectify the whole thing. It's going to be uncomfortable either way, so you may as well make it worth your while and choose yourself.
So although there is white-knuckling going on here, this can actually be a very good thing, as it brings you entirely closer to yourself (through the body) — in a way that I don't think we have ever experienced. This is about honor and grace, it's about loving what is, loving who you are, loving who others are, and letting both you and others express their authenticity without editing it or manipulating it to feel better or more palatable. This is true freedom because it's based on truth, not an idea of truth dependent on things staying comfortable for you in order to stay in relationship to them. This is an invitation to see what you've been clinging to, or holding in place out of fear. What you thought was solid may have been a figment of your imagination, and this storm is going to let you know which one is which. There is a deeper level of intimacy being called for, a deeper level of questioning, turning it over and looking at both sides to see if what's underneath matches what's being presented on top.
The keyword here is S P A C E. You will need a lot of it with yourself and probably from and with others. The oil this month is Ylang Ylang for two reasons: one, it's the oil of the inner child; and two, it's about giving that inner child space, breath, movement, expression. This is the oil of the heart, heart break, wounds that you can't let go of or have a hard time being in communion with. Our inner children are calling us to notice them and let them have a voice. They are dictating a lot of our actions anyway, we may as well dive deep enough to learn why, offer them support and give them new jobs so they can really see they are not alone. Place this oil on the back of your heart if you can, and diffuse the heck out of it so it can get into your lungs and help move the grief that is stored there. This is a whole other level of grief, one you probably weren't aware you were carrying.
There's an energy of the unknown here, so nothing is off limits. Insert fear: Face Everything And Remember. Bravery, courage, honesty, tenderness are all being called for. We're being swept and tossed around, so confusion is in the mix and steadiness on your feet is unlikely. With mercury retrograde as well, it won't surprise me if you are at a loss for words and language. It's ok, because that is also getting an upgrade. The more we label a thing, the less we know it.
Let me say that again: the more we label a thing, the less we know it.
We literally stop experiencing it because our mind says we know what that is, move on. Stay curious as everything becomes something else and what you thought was real evaporates in your hand. That might be friendships, jobs, ideas, beliefs, vacations — doesn't matter, but it will probably be rooted in something you take for granted as being certain, like your routines, jobs, health and habits (sixth house). Dizzying, right? And there's the tornado again. Don't get swept away — or do! — as a friend of mine recently said "let yourself hit the wall." It's a terrifying thought but incredibly liberating. We are holding up a lot more than we realize. Best to just drop it all and be remained what is actually ours. You can always pick it up again if it truly is.
Suggestions for this month —
Elicit a friend — You need a wing (wo)man to help you get through this level of work. Someone you can call when you're face down on the floor crying, when you're getting rid of that old wedding dress in the way recesses of your storage, when you're combing through love letters of lost loves, when you're losing weight and all the shields you use to use are dropping and you feel naked.
Chanting — This would be a really good time to do breath work, and my favorite kind is chanting. Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha is a great one for where we are. It means "I release my addiction to suffering," and believe me, it IS an addiction. Let it go, love yourself, and don't look back. No judgments here. Be where you are when you are. The more you can embrace that the better. Insert elicit a friend.
Sweat — We need to wring all this out by getting physical. Bodywork, breath work, yoga, twists will help wring out the spine. We're dumping tons of excess energy that we can no longer hold because it doesn't resonate with who we are becoming. Let it go and be free.
Oil of the Month — Ylang Ylang — Inner Child. As a heart oil this helps support the needs of the inner child, but also the wounds that are yet unprocessed. Place it on the back of your heart and diffuse it like a mofo to get it into the lungs where grief is stored to help you purify and release that a dense, heavy energy. I'm moving to Young Living for the time being. Stay tuned for a link to my new page. Access to doTERRA is still available. Just reach and let me know what you need.
Much love, Heidi