Updated: Nov 7, 2018
We’ve arrived at that interesting point in the year where we are between worlds. The holidays are over, but we are still a ways out from Spring. It can be a deafening lull; the silence of Winter. And with that silence, the agitation of what’s next and when will it be here already, can cause a busy mind. Sometimes even busier than usual. Pair that with the grief and conflict in the world right now, and it can be downright excruciating in there.
Although it seems counter intuitive, because busyness can make us feel like there isn’t enough time to slow down, it is what we are being called to do. What lies in the silence that we don’t want to hear? What is so uncomfortable in those unfilled moments that make us check our phones, again? This is precisely what winter asks of us. And there is growth possible in sitting with that discomfort; the grit that creates the pearl. I think we fear getting in touch with that silence because there may be something deeply rooted in us that is unworthy; a place so terrible that we must hide it even from our favorite people, for fear of rejection, or whatever version of fear that is for you. We hold a wall up so tightly that the thing we are afraid of is now the only thing we can see. Thus, we end up forcing ourselves to focus on this one thing we don’t like and don’t want. We become so completely identified with it that we think it is who we are, and the shame of that keeps the cycle of covering it up in motion. We ask ourselves, how can we possibly be vulnerable to show people this thing that is so uniquely awful about us?
What’s funny, is that we all have it, and if we all have it, then who are we protecting ourselves from again? It’s not even a new problem, it’s just our version of the problem in that moment. We are all human. We all carry the burden of an active mind that often doesn’t serve us while it’s bossing us around. So let go of worrying that something is uniquely wrong with you, and step into curiosity about it as a witness. Sitting with it, placing some attention there, can help us soften the pain. Like offering a shoulder to a friend. We give and receive at the same time.
When we become a witness, we become separate from the so-called problem. When we can see it for what it is, we can let go of identifying with it and loosen the tentacle grip it has on us. We can see that it isn’t who we are, it’s just a passing weather system; totally impersonal and totally universal.
In preparing for this month’s meditation, I happened to begin reading a second time Michael Singer’s book “The Untethered Soul.” He refers to this mind obsession of outside problems as the “inner roommate.” He says “When a problem is disturbing you, don’t ask ‘What should I do about it?’ Ask, ‘What part of me is being disturbed by this?’…If you want peace in the face of your problems, you must understand why you perceive a particular situation as a problem.” So when we can step back and lose the identity with the problem, we can lose the problem itself. We are not our thoughts. “It” is not who we are, it is merely something happening outside of ourselves. And the bonus is that we then have access to a calmer way of responding to it.
The meditation this month focuses on distancing ourselves from the identity with our thoughts. Join me in the guided meditation to put this witness consciousness into practice.
All my love, Heidi
I'm so happy to partner with Dina LeRoux for her eco-conscious and minimalist lifestyle blog, A Greener Life. I'll be bringing monthly mediations focused on the current season and energetic theme presenting in the collective. Check out her site www.agreener.life to learn more about her offerings.