There's a deep grief of what hasn't come to pass, what hasn't been seen or reflected back, that translates to an inability to see our own value. This wound is getting scratched so we can see it and release it. 
This ceremony is a deep witnessing practice and release of painful emotions that we are holding on to. 
With Mercury Retrograde in the mix, the gas and break are on at the same time. Be gentle with yourself and ALLOW what's coming up. Pushing against what you don't like is only making it worse. Let it be there and express to you what it wants you to know.